Walking. Yeah, just getting from point A to point B. Most of us do it without even thinking about it, like how we snag that last slice of pizza from the fridge or dart across the parking lot because, well, it’s raining. But have you ever watched a baby taking those first steps? Wobbly and hilarious—a constant fight against gravity. That’s how the Trump tariffs feel: like trying to walk in high heels on a tightrope. No fun.
So, Trump and tariffs? It’s like a toddler learning to walk. You go forward, you fall, you cry. The stock market’s all over the place, like my emotions during a rollercoaster ride. After a brutal round of stock plunges and sky-high interest rates, Trump throws in the towel—for a hot minute, after some Wall Street bigwig named Jamie Dimon breaks out the R-word: recession. We get this 90-day “let’s chill for a second” pause on all tariffs. Except China—because, you know, drama.
Then it’s Friday. Surprise! Electronics from China dodge the tariff bullet. Sunday rolls around, and uh-oh, never mind, they’re back on the hook, but at a lower rate. It’s like arguing with my GPS and still ending up lost.
Markets freak out, dance around like it’s the early ’90s when Hammerpants were a thing. Trading in chaos? Good luck, fam. Luckily, some folks have strategies. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing a couple of them, getting all deep-dive on making big bucks—or at least not losing the shirt off your back—in the stormy finance seas.
First up: selling options, the superhero of chaos times. Volatility spikes? Yeet! Let’s talk covered calls and naked puts—names that sound a tad scandalous but aren’t, I promise.
Covered Calls: You own a stock and throw in an out-of-the-money call. You earn some sweet premiums, like giving someone the keys to your car for a joyride, except they pay you upfront. Example? Buy some Mondelez shares, sell calls, rack in cash if shares skyrocket—or cry a little if they tank. You could pocket dividends in between, because who doesn’t love a little something extra?
Now, let’s get daring with Naked Puts. No, not as racy as it sounds. Selling puts on stocks you fancy but don’t own yet. It’s a dice roll on price drops. Think of it as playing the lottery but better odds.
Take Citigroup: trading at $64 but you think nah, too rich for my taste. Sell a put at $55, collect a fee, and hope the stock doesn’t dive. If it does, congrats, you’ve got some new shares—at a bargain, sorta.
Now’s the prime time for options because market chaos means bigger premiums. It’s like being an insurance salesman, minus the pleated khakis. Sell high, buy back low, rinse, repeat, or just, you know, keep the cash.
Stick around for more chaos-control advice. We’re going to dive into the best portfolio stabilizers next week. Until then, happy navigating this battleground called the stock market. Over and out.
