Last week’s online controversy unveiled a truth many prefer not to acknowledge: the complexities surrounding surrogacy. Lily Collins ignited the debate when she posted a photo on Instagram of her newborn daughter, Tove, in a basket, expressing gratitude to the surrogate who helped bring her into the world. As expected, opinions were split—some supported surrogacy, while others stood against it.
However, an intriguing aspect of the debate emerged regarding Collins’s potential motives. Some argued using a surrogate was justified if infertility was the issue. But what if it was about maintaining one’s figure, advancing a career, or simply opting out of pregnancy because one can afford to do so? These motives sparked further division.
Then there’s the question of the surrogate’s intentions. Ideally, a surrogate is motivated by the joy of helping, but what if the driving force is monetary necessity? The discussion became heated when Collins’s husband, Charlie McDowell, criticized unkind remarks, suggesting it’s okay to remain unaware of others’ reasons for choosing surrogacy.
Nevertheless, dismissing the importance of motives misses the point. Surrogacy, like assisted dying, involves ethical considerations. If surrogates are compelled by financial desperation or if the wealthy use it as a convenience, these are ethical concerns that cannot be ignored.
The challenge lies in the difficulty of determining if actions are based on the right reasons, similar to debates around assisted dying. You can’t look into someone’s soul to uncover their true motivations.
A defensible form of surrogacy exists where parents in genuine need engage a surrogate who has not been pressured by circumstances. But this ideal is not always the reality, and preventing exploitation is challenging. If certain reasons are deemed morally unsound, then perhaps the practice itself deserves scrutiny.
Proponents often highlight infertile couples’ longing for a child, yet let’s face it: surrogacy is largely accessed by the affluent. This trend is particularly visible in Hollywood, with stars like Sarah Jessica Parker, Nicole Kidman, and Kim Kardashian reportedly using surrogates.
Lucy Liu commented on her choice, not due to infertility, but because it suited her busy schedule. This raises the question: if fertility issues justify surrogacy, why not career ambitions? Yet, this reasoning shifts the use of surrogacy from a necessity to an entitlement. As career and lifestyle factors come into play, the line between need and choice begins to blur, leading to potentially unsettling outcomes—as seen with a Japanese businessman fathering 16 surrogate children to have a large family.
Motives concerning the surrogate herself are just as critical. Often, surrogates are financially struggling women from impoverished countries. Countries like the UK have tried to tackle this by only allowing “altruistic” surrogacy, where only expenses are covered. But even this approach isn’t foolproof against ethical dilemmas and questionable motivations.
What if a surrogate believes she’s forging a meaningful connection with the commissioning parents, only to be discarded post-birth? Clinics and hopeful parents may foster this bond for their interests but aren’t obliged to maintain it. True altruism might appear as the most noble reason for surrogacy, but it’s worth scrutinizing, especially given the cultural veneration of female self-sacrifice. Remarkably, women are often more willing kidney donors, usually to male recipients, despite experiencing higher rates of kidney disease themselves.
Surrogacy’s core issue is the unpredictable nature of human emotions and relationships. These elements cannot be controlled or guaranteed. The bonds between the surrogate, the intended parents, and the child remain vulnerable. This can lead to pain for surrogates and potentially for the children, who may suffer from a lack of an immediate emotional connection, making them easier to abandon if circumstances change.
The surrogacy industry is thriving, with an estimated value of £14 billion worldwide, facilitating the birth of 5,000 to 20,000 babies annually. Many prospective British parents are turning to commercial surrogates in poorer countries, drawn by lower costs. The rise in both commercial and altruistic surrogacy among Britons reflects a growing trend, but it’s crucial to acknowledge and address the inherent risks.
Martha Gill, an Observer columnist, voices the pressing issues surrounding surrogacy that we must confront, ensuring the process remains ethical and fair for all involved.
