Teenage Sexual Activity Is No Surprise: Government Finally Takes a Sensible Stance | Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

Ah, kissing in the halls, right? Back when being a teenager felt like living in a blur of awkward braces, Impulse body spray, and prying teachers. Like, did snogging ever leave our brains completely? Nope, not until Parliament decided to drag teenage lip-locking back into the spotlight. Thank goodness for that, because human memory is a sieve.

That whole “Romeo and Juliet” tweak in the crime bill? It’s like the government’s version of “Hey, we know teens are gonna be teens, so let’s not flip out every time they swap spit.” Common sense, finally getting some air time. But let’s get real, it’s just basic human nature. Like, Australia and France are already on that page—chill out, adults. Teachers have enough on their plates without calling in the cops for every awkward makeout session.

Focus on the real creeps, am I right? Those dudes lurking around schools in dodgy cars, thinking they’re all suave and stuff. Not cool, especially when they’ve got a thing for hanging around the younger crowd. Creepy with a capital C. Seriously, my school years remember some horror stories. Like, actual headteacher couldn’t keep hands to himself—wait, Neil Foden, you absolute dirtbag.

But let’s dial it back to teenage love, or lust, or whatever dramatic term fits today. Remember feeling like if you didn’t get to smooch that crush immediately, you’d melodramatically combust? Oh, the angst. We were all starring in our personal Shakespearean drama—Juliet would be all “relatable” if she had TikTok. #TeensTheseDays have all the tools we didn’t: comprehensive sex ed and online PSA’s about consent. They could teach us a thing or two, right? Remembering when not knowing what ‘luteal phase’ meant was the norm?

And yet, hearts bruise just as easily. Whether it was Pizza Hut dates or cringey MSN convos, we were just oversized kids pretending to be adults. Kids are still kids, battleground of hormones and all. Safe to say, those hormones don’t know it’s math class or not.

Let’s not be fooled, teens still need all sorts of safeguarding. They’ve gotta learn about respect and boundaries—seriously, TikTok isn’t gonna cover everything. But heartbreak? That’s its own messy lesson plan. If only you could get a diploma in “What Not to Do When Your Heart Feels Shattered.” Those early heartaches? They stick with you, jumble you up like a playlist full of emo songs.

Teenage years—they’re a wild mix of Impulse clouds and Juicy Fruit waves. Who isn’t relieved to leave behind those cringe-laden corridors? Yet, there’s always that one friend chasing the high of nostalgia, leaving everyone else shaking their heads in secondhand embarrassment.