During a chat I had with a nurse practitioner from California, she shared what she valued most about nursing: the “human element” of being there for others. “I think we all just want acknowledgment of our suffering, even if you can’t cure it or do anything about it,” she explained to me.
She vividly recalled a moment when a homeless man visited her clinic. His back was bent, his feet worn and callused from life on the streets. She sat with him and tended to his feet wounds. This memorable moment highlighted the dwindling opportunities for such care, as the push for efficiency imposes strict time limits in healthcare settings.
The simple act of washing his feet perfectly encapsulated the essence of nursing for her: humility, service, and witnessing. “It was just giving him a moment where he felt seen and cared for,” she expressed. “It was powerful for both of us.”
This raises important questions about our need to be genuinely seen by others outside our immediate circle of friends and family. In this age of relentless efficiency drives, data gathering, and AI being involved in roles like therapy or teaching, these questions have gained newfound relevance.
Quantifying the benefits of human interaction has always been challenging, often leading to their undervaluation. These skills of connecting with others have traditionally been seen as inherently feminine and thus overlooked. As a social scientist, I spent five years studying these interactions to pinpoint their significance and learn how individuals cultivate them across various environments. Professions such as teaching, therapy, primary care, sales, management, and law depend on these connections to facilitate learning, healing, and consumer engagement.
Research supports the notion that the doctor-patient relationship can influence health outcomes more than daily aspirin intake for heart attack prevention. Similarly, a therapist’s connection to a client has a broader impact compared to the specific therapeutic techniques they employ. I’ve named this intricate work of fostering connections “connective labor” after extensive interviews and observations of practitioners and their clients over five years.
While connective labor certainly fuels the service economy, it transcends being a mere facilitator of outcomes like understanding algebra, managing diabetes, or coping with anxiety. The powerful effects of simply seeing and being seen impact both individuals and communities. For instance, researchers at the University of Sussex found that people who took a moment to converse with their baristas reported more significant wellbeing benefits than those who hurriedly skipped those interactions. We need to understand these effects deeply as we move towards mechanizing these connections and risk losing something crucial.
Seeing each other fosters dignity by affirming someone’s worthiness of being noticed, as illustrated by Mariah, who runs a program teaching ex-prisoners entrepreneurial skills in California through small group mentoring. The men initially struggled with this attention, questioning it. But over time, their transformation was evident, thanks to the power of human engagement.
It’s not just others who benefit from this attention; it nourishes the giver too. “It’s a relationship built on trust,” remarked Jenna, a primary care doctor. “That trust imbues the relationship with a certain power and sanctity.” She expressed how grateful she felt for the opportunity to participate in these exchanges, gaining as much as she gave.
People help others make sense of themselves, as Bert, a school principal emphasized. He believes students don’t truly grasp content until they feel genuinely recognized by their educators.
Such outcomes—dignity, purpose, and understanding—profoundly affect individuals. Recognizing someone can also create wider societal impacts. A study on formerly incarcerated individuals in Chicago found that personal recognition from community leaders helped them integrate, enhancing their self-worth and sense of belonging. Neglecting certain groups can fuel discontent, while acknowledgment strengthens community ties.
However, human interactions aren’t without their pitfalls. Misjudgment and bias can undermine these connections, evoking shame during vulnerable moments. Yet, as therapists note, avoiding shame entirely—perhaps by choosing AI over real human interaction—doesn’t liberate individuals from it. The real power of human interactions stems from the risks entailed in opening up to each other.
Despite its crucial societal role, connective labor is increasingly threatened by the demands of data analytics and AI, which now even drive automatic therapy and teaching solutions. While some argue AI is better than no help and others claim it’s superior to humans, both views highlight our incomplete understanding of the value humans provide one another.
To avoid losing these vital human exchanges, we need to enhance the working conditions of those performing connective labor, ensuring society benefits fully from these relationships. Implementing a “connection criterion” could help determine which forms of AI to support—those enhancing, not replacing human interaction. It’s important for us to reflect on how much we cherish human connections, not just for ourselves but for our communities at large.
